How The hell did I land an exclusive interview with Dissector, the Guitarist of Ghoul? Your guess is as good as mine. I just woke up this afternoon, hungover as fuck, with this little gem in my Gmail inbox. Let's see what skeletons this Creepsylvanian psycho keeps in his closet. Dear readers, consider this a rare gift, from one Numbskull to another. Needless to say, we're not worthy.
1. Who are your musical inspirations?
Well there are two that come to mind.
Helmut Von- Kartoffel-hintern, the Creepsylvanian accordion player,
famous for his rendition of "I want to be an airborne ranger."
And also Megädeth, who play Creepsylvanian interpretive spoon polka
(not to be confused with the American band with the same name).
2. What is your favorite skate trick?
I am a big fan of all of Rodney
Mullens' underflip/kickback variations. I'm not entirely sure what
kind of sorcery is behind this but if you ever find out please let me
know. So far the only tricks I've learned are the "standing up,"
the "rolling," and of course the "boneless."
3. When did you spark an interest in
Metal?
I grew up listening to punk so it was
sort of a natural transition. It's interesting because the rest of
the band grew up listening to metal and transitioned the other way so
now we have really embarrassing conversations on tour where they'll
put something on and I'm like "what CD is this?" and
they're like "Um Napalm Death," and then I'll put something
on and they'll be like "what CD is this?" and I'm like "Um
Black Flag."
4. What were you doing before your
involvement in the music industry?
I spent a lot of time building
castle-forts out of burnt tires because I thought it would attract
the ladies. It did not attract the ladies...
5. How did you become a member of
Ghoul?
Digestor made me do it.
6. Where is the best show you played?
What made it the best show?
We always have a lot of fun playing in
Oakland because of the plethora of great bands from around there.
Vancouver is also CRAAAAZY. Last time we played there SNFU showed up
and we like them. The people out there are nuts too! They have to
drink a lot and cover themselves in patches to stay alive out there
in the frozen tundrical (is that a word) wilderness which makes for
some pretty insane shows.
7. How do you feel about Creepsylvania
and its inhabitants?
Well the people smell funny, and most
of the time I can't understand what they are saying. Most of the time
it just seems like they are yelling, cussing, and waving their fists
around for some reason... they taste good though. Our non-people food
here is really good too. I don't know what you Americans are always
complaining about with this GMO business, we are proud of our mutated
food in Creepsylvania. We have these 3 legged swamp fish there. They
are easy to catch because they glow in the dark and they are also
THIS close to talking...awesome! Meanwhile you guys are complaining
about how your corn is too big, sheesh...
8. Do you have any regrets about your
music career?
Yes. Starting one first of all. I used
to be pretty big in Eastern Europe for placing #1 in the annual
Creepsylvanian
Invitational-Full-Contact-Hole-Digging-Competition...now I just play
in Ghoul.
9. What pros and cons are there to
being in a band?
Pro: Sometimes we get free food on our
rider
Con: Most of the time our rider isn't
fulfilled because due to these harsh economic times most towns have
turnip and/or cabbage shortages.
Pro: Cremator
Con: Cremator
10. Have you ever heard of Mammoth
Sound Mastering?
I have. I have heard it is run by the
handsomest mastering engineer on earth... often referred to as the
Jesus of mastering.
11. What would you like to say to your
fans?
Keep sending those cabbage tarts to
Ghoul care of DISSECTOR....NOT Fermentor...he's fat enough as it is.
