How The hell did I land an exclusive interview with Dissector, the Guitarist of Ghoul? Your guess is as good as mine. I just woke up this afternoon, hungover as fuck, with this little gem in my Gmail inbox. Let's see what skeletons this Creepsylvanian psycho keeps in his closet. Dear readers, consider this a rare gift, from one Numbskull to another. Needless to say, we're not worthy.
1. Who are your musical inspirations?
Well there are two that come to mind. Helmut Von- Kartoffel-hintern, the Creepsylvanian accordion player, famous for his rendition of "I want to be an airborne ranger." And also Megädeth, who play Creepsylvanian interpretive spoon polka (not to be confused with the American band with the same name).
2. What is your favorite skate trick?
I am a big fan of all of Rodney Mullens' underflip/kickback variations. I'm not entirely sure what kind of sorcery is behind this but if you ever find out please let me know. So far the only tricks I've learned are the "standing up," the "rolling," and of course the "boneless."
3. When did you spark an interest in Metal?
I grew up listening to punk so it was sort of a natural transition. It's interesting because the rest of the band grew up listening to metal and transitioned the other way so now we have really embarrassing conversations on tour where they'll put something on and I'm like "what CD is this?" and they're like "Um Napalm Death," and then I'll put something on and they'll be like "what CD is this?" and I'm like "Um Black Flag."
4. What were you doing before your involvement in the music industry?
I spent a lot of time building castle-forts out of burnt tires because I thought it would attract the ladies. It did not attract the ladies...
5. How did you become a member of Ghoul?
Digestor made me do it.
6. Where is the best show you played? What made it the best show?
We always have a lot of fun playing in Oakland because of the plethora of great bands from around there. Vancouver is also CRAAAAZY. Last time we played there SNFU showed up and we like them. The people out there are nuts too! They have to drink a lot and cover themselves in patches to stay alive out there in the frozen tundrical (is that a word) wilderness which makes for some pretty insane shows.
7. How do you feel about Creepsylvania and its inhabitants?
Well the people smell funny, and most of the time I can't understand what they are saying. Most of the time it just seems like they are yelling, cussing, and waving their fists around for some reason... they taste good though. Our non-people food here is really good too. I don't know what you Americans are always complaining about with this GMO business, we are proud of our mutated food in Creepsylvania. We have these 3 legged swamp fish there. They are easy to catch because they glow in the dark and they are also THIS close to talking...awesome! Meanwhile you guys are complaining about how your corn is too big, sheesh...
8. Do you have any regrets about your music career?
Yes. Starting one first of all. I used to be pretty big in Eastern Europe for placing #1 in the annual Creepsylvanian Invitational-Full-Contact-Hole-Digging-Competition...now I just play in Ghoul.
9. What pros and cons are there to being in a band?
Pro: Sometimes we get free food on our rider
Con: Most of the time our rider isn't fulfilled because due to these harsh economic times most towns have turnip and/or cabbage shortages.
10. Have you ever heard of Mammoth Sound Mastering?
I have. I have heard it is run by the handsomest mastering engineer on earth... often referred to as the Jesus of mastering.
11. What would you like to say to your fans?
Keep sending those cabbage tarts to Ghoul care of DISSECTOR....NOT Fermentor...he's fat enough as it is.