Let's Try This Again

Last post was super-false, but my computer bit the dust, so I had to use an ancient monstrosity that runs slower than hell. Anyway, now that my horrible incident of terror is over, I can bring you a (slightly) higher quality of writing. It's still going to consist entirely of random stuff I should have said a long time ago, and in a more aesthetically articulate manner, but I'm too fat, lonely, and poor to care.

First of all, the Tech-Death/ Aliencore band Rings Of Saturn are dropping a new album on Nov. 20th. The album will be named Dingir, after the Sumerian word for "diety" or sky".  Their first album, Embryonic Anamoly, set the bar pretty high, but Dingir seems promising, as evidenced by this sampler.  And as is usually the case with Tech-Death, the album art is as intricate as the music itself. Awesome.

Meanwhile, for those of us who need something to do until November, there's the Slaughter Survivors tour. It hits my neck of the woods at August 16th, but the tour is also hitting Denver, New York, Hollywood, and other big-shot cities. The line up is amazing. I can't brag enough that I actually went to high school with Fields Of Elysium, who happen to be one of the biggest bands in New Mexico, Metal or otherwise. Fallujah appeals to a similar fanbase, but they are a more atmospheric style of Metal.  Weslandia were the worthy winners of a recent Battle Of The Bands, and they also happen to be a Christian Metal band. Don't be talking smack or I'll stab you with my crucifix. The rest of the line up is pretty rad, but I can't do them justice. You'll just have to see the show.

On a far more depressing note, someone jacked the gear belonging to Animals As Leaders. As in, they punked the instruments, equipment, and even the freaking vehicle. So if some sketchy ass-hole on the street tries to sell you a suspiciously awesome guitar at a low, low price, you have my blessing to kill him. Meanwhile,  if you have any info on their stuff, you can contact them at animalsgear@gmail.com

I'm really burnt out, so I can't really think of anything else that pertains to Metal. Well, except that the new episodes of Metalocalypse are freaking hilarious. And I have such a huge crush on Toki Wartooth that it truly makes me sad that he's not real.

This post is sad... I'm just gonna listen to Muknal and OD on store-brand Mountain Dew. Peace.

Shakespeare And Metal: Part II

Last night I watched a rerun of Metalocalypse when Nathan Explosion had to read the complete works of Shakespeare, and then I was reminded of one of my many projects that I initiated and subsequently abandoned. So, at long last, here is the second installment of my speculations on the connexion betwixt Shakespeare and Metal.

Last time, I had Othello on my mind. Now, I'm thinking about Hamlet. The titular character is a hesher and a half. As countless Metal documentaries and fans are forever reminding us, Metal is all about the underdogs. Our first introduction to Hamlet in Act I, Scene II shows him insulting his enemy Claudius. His very first line in the entire play is "A little more than kin, and less than kind." From Twisted Sister to Arch Enemy, Metal exemplefies the rebellion against such foes. Whether it's bitchy authority figures, corrupt governments, or society as a whole, everyone has oppressors who are too close for comfort.

This rebellion takes a more humorous and less sinister tone in Act II, during which Hamlet verbally kicks Polonius' ass. Seriously, try to read this dialogue (the good stuff starts at line 170) and not think of Beavis And Butthead dissing a lame music video. Hamlet ruthlessly mocks Polonius' old age, his ignorance, and even insults his daughter's sexuality. However, this scene  is more than mere comic relief. Polonius, in an uncharacteristic moment of wisdom, asserts that "Though this be madness, yet there is method in't." Even more than rebellion, unison in entropy is the pinnacle of Metal art. From the music itself to the bedlam state of a mosh-pit, Metal is all about turning your insanity into something artistic and meaningful.
 Uh... Sorry guys, but it turns out that Hamlet isn't exactly light reading, so I could only get through two acts today before the process got tedious. I'm sure that there's more similarities between the play and Metal, but I'm gonna take the easy way out and just remind you that everyone dies at the end. Ja, datz brootalz.

Happy 4/20

Long story short, I'm dressed in drag trying to look like Toki Wartooth. Don't ask how things got to this level. Even as I type, innocent passerby are gawking at me in my altered state. I am little more to these people than an amusing anecdote that they will describe to their sober friends in the near future.






By the way, the teddy bear isn't in any way unusual. I always have Antar with me, as evidenced by the creepy/lame facebook profile I made for him.

Actually, there is a reason I'm doing this nonsense. Tonight is the Drag Ball at my stupid school (St. John's College), so I put minimal effort and dressed normally but with an eyeliner 'stache. But for those of us who have better things to do, there's this:

I'm all about the local scene, but sometimes that just becomes tunnel vision and I forget that every town has a local scene of it's own. So for once, I'm gonna shut up about Santa Fe and Albuqurque and talk about other New Mexico shows. This one is in Gallup. The fact that there's a band called "Orale!" makes me so happy that I can not possibly articulate my ecstasy. And when I saw the price of admission, I started laughing like Beavis and Butthead.

So that was my token flyer for a show that takes more than an hour driving time. Enough of that nonsense. Albuqurque's own Malarky's bar will be hosting a Metal show with... Uh, those guys in the picture, I guess. And it's not just on 4/20, but on the recovery day as well. NO COVER?! Being a cheap ass, I love this concert already. Too bad I'm 20 years young.

 Launchpad fucking rules. This is the only venue that I've ever seen host an all-ages battle of the bands. There's also a bar adjacent to the concert room. There's grime and glitter all over the damn place. And they've proved their worth for all-ages shows yet again with this magnificent freaking line up. Laughing Dog is old school Death Metal, who have become notorious in the local music scene thanks to their amazing performance at Bloody Ear Fest '09. Echoes Of Fallen are genuine, unrefined metal who blew me away at The Gathering Of The Sick a few years back. Torture Victim has hit the stage with the likes of Toxic Holocaust, Eulogies Of The Forgotten, and even punk bands such as Domestic Violence. I don't recognize any of those other bands, but I would sell my soul just to see the bands that I know. They rock that hard.

I already told you mongrels about this show. Eve Of An End were the worthy winners of a recent Battle Of The Bands, so you might want to check them out. Futilitarian is atmospheric, heavy fucking metal. They used to have vocals, but they rule so much that their transition to Instru-Metal was virtually seamless. Savage Wizdom is like NWOBHM: Traditional metal saturated with power chords and Halford vocals. Bodies Of Evidence are pretty damn killer too.

You may notice that I started this post around 4:20, and it is now 6:14. On a normal day, this would have taken me like 45 minutes. Happy 4/20 everyone.  :)